Well the kitchen is moving along, of course not as fast as I would like (but frankly nothing does!). New floors are in and they look beautiful. Cabinets are in but lots of finish work needs to happen. Then about a two week gap before the counters can go in. But I have to say, even with just the minimal cabinets installed, it is going to look great in the end, I can already tell.
Everyone has a story.
My eight-year-old daughter was happily splashing in the community pool last Friday in her weekly swim class when a fellow mom sat next to me. She was Korean and we started talking about nothing really. We touched on parenting challenges when she disclosed that she was adopted. Her adoptive parents were from Idaho; they had a birth son and then adopted her. Shortly after integrating into their family, her adoptive father died. For whatever reason, her adoptive mom and her did not get along. She ended up being sent to a boarding school. It was a painful time.
And it is still painful. As an adult, now with two kids of her own, she wondered why her relationship with her mom did not work. And why her birth mother might have given her away. To complicate matters, she had a friend who recently found her birth mother back in Korea and finally knew why she was given away. The woman I met desperately want that closure, too. Why was she left on the street corner as a baby? Where did she “really” come from? Did her personality resemble her birth mother at all?
How about the arborist that grinds tree stumps all day but really moved to Portland for the art?
Or the father dealing with his three-year old’s bout of cancer. Not quite understanding why a three year gets cancer but having a new appreciation for the health of his family.
Or the student saddled with student debt but excited about her new job that required her to leave her hometown for the first time and truly experience being an adult.
Or the Uber driver, James, I met recently. He’s lived in the Pacific Northwest for the last 47 years and recently became an Uber driver so that he had something to do while his wife hiked with her weekly Tuesday hike group of women-friends. He just wanted a little spending money and to meet interesting people and hear their stories.
Some stories are shocking. Some are interesting. Most are very personal.
Oh yes, everyone has a story. You just need to stop and listen.
New Year’s Eve often ends one of two ways: with a sigh of “good riddance” or the hope of what is to come. I am in the latter camp and have optimism for what 2017 will bring (irregardless of who sits in the White House!). I hope to learn new things and continue to travel and cook, as my Instagram account confirms).
Since I am not one for resolutions, my hope is just to get better in whatever I choose to do. 2016 has been a year of change for me: I took a job, my husband left a job, we got a dog. my youngest daughter learned how to sew and my oldest daughter started high school. I was able to visit my childhood home (after being away for 20 years) and challenged myself at the gym and the kitchen.
My hope is that the world becomes a kinder place and that health and happiness surround all my family and friends. Happy New Year!
I was lucky enough to spend two weeks in the U. S. Virgin Islands, which included St. Croix, St. Thomas, St. John and Virgin Gorda (in the British Virgin Islands). Part of the trip was a homecoming, while three of the islands were brand new to me. All four islands were new to my family. From Oregon, getting to the Virgin Islands is no easy affair and takes about 13 hours (similar to going to Europe for us).
We started our trip with a week in St. Croix. I lived in St. Croix until 1989 and had not been back for 27 years. I was excited to see what has changed, as well as, whether my memory served me well with the fond memories I carried with me for the last 27 years. We stayed in a glorious little hotel right on the beach. Literally, we rolled out of our cottage and right onto the beach. It also happens to be one of the best beaches on the island. Cottages by the Sea was the perfect place for us to be on the quieter side of the island for pure relaxation.
While on St. Croix we visited my old home, which sadly now is an AT&T data farm. Difficult to understand why 13 acres of pristine waterfront property should be used for a data farm, but such is life. The only remaining fixture from the original property was a sugar mill that I had spent hours playing in.
We also went to Buck Island and snorkeled the underwater trail in this incredibly beautiful national park. The sailing trip out there is easy and Turtle Beach is incredibly beautiful. And of course, the underwater trails hosts hundreds of fish and breathtaking coral.
After a week in St. Croix we flew to St. Thomas, a very easy 30 minute plane ride. St. Thomas is much more busy and touristy compared to St. Croix. Also, instead of the intimate, cozy hotel we stayed at in St. Croix, we were at a much larger, busier resort. It was perched on a breathtaking cliff overlooking the St. Thomas harbor with four pools, a nice beach, tennis courts and many restaurants. After the quaint place we stayed, it felt like Disneyland.
We took a ferry to St. John which has some of the most amazing beaches and a tiny downtown area. Only 4,000 residents inhabit this amazing island.
Our final day was spent on Virgin Gorda. We took a 1.5 hour ferry to this little gem of an island to visit The Baths and Devil’s Bay.
Our final night…
This is a trip to be remembered for a very long time.
Change is omnipresent in our daily lives. Every year companies initiate thousands of changes. Statistics show that between 50% – 75% of those changes do not produce the expected results. Research points to several reasons for this. The top reasons are:
Often, people resist change based on their perceptions of four factors
identified by William Bridges as C.U.S.P. factors:
Control: How much control do people feel they have over the current situation?
Understanding: Do the people involved understand specifically what is happening and why, in language and terms that are meaningful to them?
Support: Do people feel they have the emotional and practical support necessary to help them get through what they are experiencing?
Purpose: Do people feel they have a purpose in the current change that gives meaning to what they are doing and feeling?
William Bridges, in Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, discusses the idea that successful changes are accomplished by managing the transitions that people must go through. He draws a distinction between “change” and “transition” as illustrated below:
Change
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Transition
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Transition is the process people go through when adjusting to a change in their lives. There are three phases of transition that must be managed to be able to positively function within the new environment.
Ending
Whenever a change takes place, people lose something. They may lose power, relationships, familiar surroundings, a process they were comfortable with, anything that they had an emotional attachment to. To effectively manage the transition, it is necessary to identify who is “losing” what and acknowledge the loss.
The Neutral Zone
Between the place where the old ways are over but the new ways haven’t quite settled in is the Neutral Zone. People in the Neutral Zone don’t really know what to do. Processes, both new and old, might get dropped. Customer service might go down due to confusion over procedures. To effectively manage the transition, it is necessary to communicate, over and over and over, what part people should be playing, how the change is progressing, and what is over.
However, the Neutral Zone isn’t all “life in limbo.” The Neutral Zone is where the most creative energy lies. During this phase, people are better able to come up with new ways of doing things. Given proper encouragement and authority to innovate, people in the Neutral Zone can really add value to the company.
The New Beginning
When the change finally kicks in and people have accepted the “new order” they have reached the New Beginning. In this phase, the new processes and procedures start to “feel right.”
Change is going to happen whether we like it or not, so why not be a little more thoughtful about the process. I highly recommend reading William Bridges’ work and trying some of the strategies he suggests. Change is inevitable but how we react to the transition is up to each of us.
Saw this document and wanted to share it. Complete this one-pager to review the past and more importantly, plan the future pretty easily!
Last night a friend picked me up and did not tell me where we were going. She had planned an outing for us to celebrate my birthday. I truly had no idea what she was doing. We landed not too far from home, but a world away from anything I had done before. Actually she had never done it either! We were going to float. I had never heard of it and was intrigued. My friend disclosed that she was a little nervous.
I entered a private room, notably called, “The Princess Room”. I undressed, showered in the dark (with a shower head that displayed multiple colors of lights, and got into a salt water tank. I kept the lights on at first, but then decided to try the “total darkness” option. Because of all the salt, you float in about four inches of water. It is dark and completely silent, so you lose track of time and frankly don’t even feel your body. I did this for one and a half hours and at first, I really wondered how I was going to last that long doing “nothing”.
The weightlessness is amazing. You really do not feel your body. I closed my eyes and just drifted. I will say that it would have been PERFECT if the room was ten degrees warmer. The water was 93.7 degrees and that was fine, but any body part not in the water felt just a little too cool for me.
Interestingly enough, my friend did not enjoy it and actually ended her session early. It was probably one of the most thoughtful birthday gifts I have received. It really forced me to try something new (which I do believe I am pretty good at, but this definitely took it up a notch). I have decided that for the next 365 days I am going to try or to do or to learn something new. It could be something tiny or something really “out there”. This experience was the perfect way to kick it off. Today, I ran a totally new route. Day one, check that “new” thing done!
seniyegroff 