I have created a little routine that on Tuesdays, which is street cleaning day, I go grocery shopping during the cleaning time slot (8 a.m.). Once that task was completed, I decided Pete and I would find the nearest post office to mail a package and then cross some must-see items off my list. Today was Wave Organ and Palace of Fine Arts. It ended up being a six mile walk and Pete got a romp on the beach, too.
Wave Organ was a bit of a hike, out onto a jetty by the yacht club, and a very interesting concept. I did not hear the “music” since the waves are just too loud. But I suspect that if I stayed for a few hours I might be able to pick up on the nuanced sounds. Pete was more interested in rolling around on the beach next to the “organ” so we spent the majority of our time doing that.
We then walked to the Palace of Fine Arts. It is a beautiful piece of architecture with its Greek-style colonnades and soaring central rotunda. It is larger than you would think, too. It is quintessential San Francisco and is now used for events and lots of wedding photos!
It is funny that all it takes is a routine to feel comfortable and at home. At least that seems to be the case with me. I located my gym and it is only a thirty minute walk each way. I have found my grocery store and most importantly, landed many options for Pete’s daily walks. I see Steven (the valet at the Fairmont) daily so that Pete can gather his treat and I have met people, and know their names, from my daily visits at the dog park.
The process of wandering is not only learning about the new places I visit, but also learning about myself, too. Building a community is important to me and these daily achievements help make that happen. I have learned that the daily minutiae of crap doesn’t end just because I am wandering; I am still spending parts of my days dealing with daily living stuff.
Today I met with friends of a friend. Meeting new people allows me to hear new perspectives. We met this morning at the boat house at Golden Gate Park. Golden Gate is larger than Central Park and we saw some really cool art installations on a pedestrian-only area of the park. When I meet people that have lived in the city for 30 plus years, I learn their favorite spots, as well as, their perspective on what works and what doesn’t in their hometown. I saw the park through their eyes (and it was splendid!).
I don’t want you to think I don’t make mistakes, though. Today, after our walk I tried to return back to my rented studio…big mistake! With Fleet Week and a North Beach festival happening, there was not only no parking but many streets were shut down. After driving around for an hour trying to find a parking space, I decided to return to the Golden Gate Park area. Pete and I investigated Lincoln Park and found the Lincoln Park steps. We also walked around Lands End. Basically, I was trying to burn time.
At 5 p.m. I returned but to no avail…still no spots. Fortunately, Carli’s friend took my car and found a spot in her neighborhood since she will be using my car tonight, anyway. Thank goodness Pete is easygoing. I will be more careful going forward on noting events and when I should and shouldn’t use my car!
Today I ventured out to visit the Legion of Honor (in Lincoln Park) and de Young (in Golden Gate Park) art museums. The Legion of Honor Museum is situated high on a hill overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The entry is stunning and the museum holds the largest collection of Rodin sculptures outside of Paris. It also has an impressive collection of European painters and contemporary art. This is the perfect-sized museum with just two floors and a digestible amount of art.
After leaving the museum I drove the Sea Cliff neighborhood (stunning!) to the Lands End hiking trail. The trail is easy and the views are spectacular.
I then drove to the de Young Art Museum. It is another two-level museum (so perfect-sized). It focuses on American art from the 17th century to present day. There was a special exhibit on Japanese comic art that I think Pearl would have loved. They also had some African art. Overall, I preferred the Legion of Honor museum but both are worth a stop.
San Francisco is generous with her beauty. I have been traipsing through neighborhoods all while enjoying the breathtaking views of the Pacific Ocean. Yes, the hills make for great workouts but they also pitch me to great viewpoints. Pete and I have established our walk routine and he insists on at least one daily visit to the Francisco dog park to meet with his new pals and one visit to the valets at the Fairmont for his nightly treat. It’s a routine I can live with.
On Sunday I walked 3.4 miles to and from a 24 Hour Fitness in the financial district. I was the only woman working out, which was a bit unsettling. I asked the front desk why no women were at the gym. The only answer they could give me, “It’s Sunday”. Hmmm I think women can work out on Sunday.
My short term rental is on the path of the cable cars so I hear the bells all day and see the delight as the numerous tourists hold onto the railing and swing halfway off the wooden steps. It’s a quintessential San Francisco vision. The noisy underground cables in the street scare Pete so we walk quickly when crossing.
I see swimmers in the water morning, midday and in the evening. Tai Chi happening at Washington Square in North Beach. Fruit and vegetables piled high in China Town. Fort Mason littered with bikers, runners and walkers. I think I have figured out the parking situation although the street cleaning schedule does throw an additional wrinkle in finding and, more importantly, keeping a spot.
I even managed to pick up Carli from the airport today…yes, the San Francisco Airport! It was easier than expected Each day gets easier. I am using my phone map less and less. I am not as bothered by the sometimes pungent smells on the street. And most importantly, Pete has a bop of happiness each time we go for a walk. He is happy here and so am I.
Last night during the evening dog walk we passed the Fairmont. The valet (Steven) immediately called us in and wanted to meet Pete and give him a dog treat. So, during our 6 a.m. dog walk this morning Pete wanted to go right to the Fairmont. His sense of direction is uncanny, especially when it results in a treat.
We walked the neighborhood and the SF Maritime National Historic Park. There were people in the aquatic cove swimming. They had on wetsuits and I could hear the laughing and chatting in the early morning, dark hours. I have already noticed that even though San Francisco is a BIG city, it lives small. People smile, say hello and introduce themselves. Eddie and his dog Rocky introduced themselves as we walked to the dog park this morning. And Eddie gave Pete a chicken treat. At this rate, Pete will NEVER leave this city…the treats are just too plentiful.
After visiting the dog park where Pete energetically played with another Doodle, we walked up to the area above the park, which was an even better park! The views were stunning overlooking the water and Alcatraz. Goats were on the hill doing the organic farming and a community garden and a playground rounded out the park.
I purchased my parking permit for the city and FasTrak for the bridge tolls. This afternoon I will find my gym. There are two options, both 1.4 miles away so I will walk both of them and see which one I like better. I already have settled in and it feels pretty good. I look forward to exploring the next two months. And I am sure Pete will be gaining some weight!
Well after six plus weeks of waiting, today was the day to take off! Of course, it is bittersweet but something I have been planning for the last six years. The numerous good-byes included celebratory drinks and meals, kind words and promises to keep in touch. The momentous day started with my very good friends making me breakfast and giving me fresh baked goods to take on the road. Then a matcha to fuel me for the first leg of my trip. I stopped in Eugene to visit my new college student! Today was the first day of classes. Pete walked the campus and even though it was rainy, Pete was oblivious because the smells (and dropped food crumbs) were just too good!
After my Eugene stop, I headed south and then West to Reedsport. I wanted to check out the Oregon Dunes National Park but it was just too rainy. We saw Elk at the Elk Viewpoint in Dean Creek and then headed down to Bandon. North Bend had a cute downtown and smelled of fresh lumber (which was present everywhere). Pete and I walked Old Town Bandon and then found a hotel. It was a last minute find but actually very nice. We drove about six hours today and it was a great first day.
I moved out of my home of 15 years on August 13 and immediately spent two nights at a friend’s house. We originally met on the tennis court and it turned into dog walks, lunches and long talks. And these two nights were no different…long talks deep into the dark, warm nights of summer.
I then moved back to my previous street to housesit for a neighbor for two weeks. Her garden was glorious and the art work that showered her house’s walls were sublime. I learned she did some of the art work (the things you learn when you stay at someone’s home) and other pieces were purchased at many art shows. As a matter of fact, she decided to stop going to art shows because she is so compelled to buy art and there are no more bare walls. Each piece felt spiritual and special in her home. Her ex-husband was a woodworker and the trim and shelving that dressed the house was absolutely divine, too.
During this six weeks I attended several events at various parks during Portland’s Summer for All events. I look forward to this every summer and this year I managed several concerts, an opera and a comedy show. Portland really shines during the summer and these events really highlight all the wonderful parks in this city.
I also managed a trip to Mt. Rainier. This has been on my list to-do for a long time. I realized (a bit too late) that it is really easy to get there and, of course, the mountain trails were gorgeous. The accessibility and beauty of the outdoors in the Pacific North West really is difficult to beat!
Meeting with friends to say good-bye meant a lot of food. Some places I visited were Jam on Hawthorne for brunch. I’ve been here a few times and it’s always busy, which is a testament to it’s flavorful, hearty meals. I ate at an old Portland institution, Nicolas. The flat bread cooked right before it arrives at your table has remained consistently delicious throughout all these years. I attended a networking event at Hey Love where the cocktails were lovely and the food varied. I made a new friend and talked shop! I had coffee at Crema Coffee and caught up with a Laurelhurst mom outside at the open tables created by blocking off the street from cars. It was perfect.
It was a full two weeks of movin’ and shakin’ and then I moved to Sellwood for a dog sitting gig for my next two weeks. I have certainly visited Sellwood before but the dog sitting allowed me a more intimate glimpse of the area. The Sellwood and Westmoreland Parks were well-maintained and clean. Pete loved the new smells and having another dog as his partner in crime. They got along well and every evening chased each other for over an hour. I found Cloud City Ice Cream along the way. Yowzah! Let’s just say it’s a good thing I don’t live closer.
I had lunch with a friend at Tavern on Kruse which was closer from my Sellwood digs than NE Portland. Lunch was great and I loved my salmon burger. We sat outside which was a perfect place to eat lunch on a Portland summer day. My neighbors on my old street had a get together for me on a Saturday night. It was a wonderful gathering and emulated all the gatherings I coordinated when I lived on the street. It was the perfect sendoff!
The next day another friend had me over for brunch. We shared work and motherhood experiences for many years and she is someone very dear to me. I met a friend for coffee at Carina’s Bakery in Beaverton. I don’t make it to Beaverton very often but my friend wanted to try this vegan bakery. There were so many sweet and savory options and we were able to grab a table outside.
A few nights later I went to one of my favorite restaurants with one of my favorite couples. Lovely’s 50 50 did not disappoint and we got a table right away (highly unusual but helped that we got in line right at 5 p.m.). We ate two salads and two pizzas and, of course, homemade ice cream. I highly recommend the salted caramel.
I walked the Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden. It was my first time there and although it is a small park, it was so beautiful with water, fauna and wildlife. The next night I went to dinner at Campana with my favorite family. The restaurant bills themselves as the best Italian restaurant, which is a bold statement. I enjoyed my meal but it certainly is not the best Italian restaurant I’ve been to. But it didn’t matter because I was with some of my most treasured people. Enough said.
Coffee with another friend happened at Sterling Coffee Roasters. I had never been to this coffee shop and the vibe was cool. It is on NW 21st, every seat was occupied and the coffee was really smooth. That evening I it was dinner with another set of neighbors. We went to Ken’s Pizza. It was a later dinner than usual because ever since this place was highlighted on Instagram, it has been packed…every night…every hour. Admittedly everything that comes out of this kitchen is amazing…the pizza, the roasted vegetables and desserts. These neighbors have been kind and generous with me and I made sure they realized how much I value their friendship. The tears flowed that evening.
I met a good friend from one of my jobs in Portland for a walk around Reed College. The campus is serene, green and lush. It was great to catch up and talk about our dreams for the future. The next evening I met a friend that I made at the gym. It makes sense since I work out religiously. We went to Blackbird Wine and Atomic Cheese. This is the sweetest wine shop around. It’s small and quaint and the wines and cheeses are scrumptious. Another evening sitting outside. My only complaint is the shop closes at 7 p.m., which is way too early when the ambience so good.
I managed a lunch at Paadee with a second visit with one of my friends…what a bonus! I can never go wrong with Thai for lunch. I was invited spur of the moment to bowling on a Saturday night at Grand Central Bowl. I decided to go for the social aspect and had no intention of bowling. But, alas, I was not allowed to opt out and I guess it is good I didn’t because I ended up winning against my four opponents. On the weekends a reservation is a must and they hold you to the times…we had to beg to finish our game when our hour expired so that we could see our scores.
Happy Hour with another work friend at Cheese and Crack. The cheese boards and soft serve are not to be missed! I love this place and have visited often with Carli. If I were to open a business, I would love something similar to this place.
And alas the drop off at University of Oregon…the final stop on the goodbye tour.
Throughout the month, I kept running into people I know and was asked over and over, “You’re not gone yet?” My timeline was always dictated by Pearl’s school start date (super late September 29th). And although it is a late start date, it did allow me to do lots of fun things and visit with tons of my friends in my last six weeks in Portland. Lucky me!
I am on my third house sitting gig and my fourth move since I sold my house and moved out in mid August. I was telling a friend today that it’s been more difficult that I expected. The constant moving and learning a new house, establishing a new routine and making sure my dog is taken care of has been a lot of work. Additionally, I make sure that the homes are treated with extra special care (more than I showed my own) because I want to respect and show appreciation for the generosity people have shown me by sharing their homes. Sometimes, this feels like “walking on eggshells”.
Even with the discomfort, I remind myself that I am doing all of this for a reason. I intentionally blew up my life because I don’t want to live a stagnant, “autopilot” life. I believe short term irritation will garnish me with big time gains of a new perspective and value for life and all of its facets, ups and downs and experiences.
My to-do list is getting shorter and shorter. New tires on my car yesterday. Today I signed up for Trusted Housesitters. I figure it will open me to potential locations I haven’t considered or even know about! I also met with a friend today, and as with other friends I have visited, I invited her to accompany me on the road or join me for a part of my road trip. I let her know how important she is to me. I think we don’t tell people enough how they have added to our lives and journey. I am adamant the my friends know they are truly special to me.
And so my journey continues. It will have its peaks and valleys and I will continue to remind myself that it is where the growth happens. And more important than growth, it reminds me I am human and striving to be the very best version of myself, parent and friend.
I am a 58 year-old woman that is leaving everything I know after 30 years of cultivating a community in Portland, Oregon. I sold my house in July, put everything in storage and decided to wander with my dog for the next year across the US and Canada. My trip begins once I drop my daughter off at college on September 26th. In the meantime, I have assembled six weeks of house sitting and dog sitting gigs since my house sold faster than expected. I am still in the cocoon of familiarity. The “realness” of my adventure begins once I step away from all that I know in Portland.
My time wandering will allow me to discover the nooks and crannies of America and learn a ton about myself at the same time. This is a story about exploration, curiosity and courage as I travel solo. I believe this story is timely because a lot of people my age are at a crossroad about what to do once the kids leave the house. Change is scary to many and I believe the myriad are afraid to actually take the plunge into the unknown. There is no judgment of this fact. I hope to inspire others to take the leap in whatever form is right for them.
Autopilot is so easy to fall into. The daily minutiae of life sucks up so much time and energy and provides us with so little value. And yet the majority of our energy and attention is focused on this minutiae. Without a house and kids to take care of, I believe my time can be focused on being present and focused on learning, exploring and exposing myself to new things.
Croatia October 2024
One of the biggest questions I ask myself while thinking about this upcoming adventure is how I can continue to build community while on the road and transient. Since community is so important to me, I hope that friends reach out and say hi, ask questions and just cheer me on. I know the trip will not be perfect and there will be days when hearing from a known entity will be exactly what I need to be able to keep moving forward. Follow me on this webpage, on Instagram and Substack. Ask questions, make comments and send words of encouragement. I hope to hear from you.
I am fortunate to have completed several solo trips oversees and I often get asked, “What is your favorite trip?” Solo travel has been empowering and liberating for me. Traveling solo allows for the ultimate flexibility. If I like a place I stay longer and if I don’t, I can quickly move on. I think back to my first solo trip and stressing about not having anyone to travel with me. I had a close friend dying of cancer and she told me, “Seniye if I could travel, I would do it in a minute! Go travel…it will all work out.” And she was 100% correct.
My favorite trip so far has been Morocco. It was my first time on the African continent and it did not disappoint. The Sahara Desert was so beautiful…the sand a brilliant orange and the night sky littered with millions of stars that you just cannot see anywhere else because of the light pollution. I loved the food, the artisanal crafts and the dizzying mazes that formed the souks. The riads were charming hotels with sparkling clean rooms, amazing tile work and hearty quintessential Moroccan breakfasts. I could go on and on. If I had been too scared to travel alone, I would have missed all of it!
So how can you solo travel? I have a few tips:
Pick safe countries. There are lots of lists that outline safe travel for single women.
Do your homework and have a rough plan but get comfortable with wandering, too.
Share you itinerary with your family and friends.
Don’t do stupid things. For example, I do not visit bars nor do I explore late at night.
Do your research. There are Facebook groups with likeminded travelers. The wealth of information shared has been really informative. Two groups I like (but there are hundreds) are “Traveling Solo over 50” and “Solo in Style”.
Target your search by country. There are many FB groups that focus on specific locales. Travelers share their itineraries, tips and even meet up if they are in a location at the same time.
So, what are your solo travel suggestions? And where do you want to go next?
seniyegroff 