inclusion

Inclusion: The Foundation

Posted on by Seniye Groff

I am working with a new client on bolstering their inclusion practices with employees and clients. In the most basic form, inclusion is defined as “the act of including” by Merriam Webster. But we all know it is a lot more than that. In fact, all people want to feel included, valued and appreciated…or at least I know for sure that I do! So how do you create an environment where folks feel a sense of belonging, feel heard and feel safe to express their authentic selves?

First, accept that we all have bias. One of the ways to work through our bias is to talk about it. Many DEIB programs hit walls when they focused on blaming and shaming. Blaming and shaming never work, especially when you are asking someone to be open-minded to others that are different from them. Being bold enough to tackle these tough conversations is difficult since you don’t want to be called a racist, you don’t want to be misunderstood, you don’t want to offend someone and you certainly don’t relish is discomfort!

So what can you do to be more inclusive? I like this video on making assumptions and the framework is offers to Pause/Recognize/Question so that you are not misled by your assumptions (bias). Ask yourself, “What assumptions am I making?” and “How do I know these assumptions are true?”

Another tactic is to acknowledge your own preconceived ideas, move beyond generalizations and know the difference between perspective and reality. In other words:

•What messages have I received in my life that may influence my perspectives?

•What identity groups do I have the most exposure to?

•What identity groups do I have the least exposure to?

•How can I check for blind spots?

Other things you can do are expose yourself to new experiences, talk to people with different identities from your own and broaden your worldview. I love it when I talk to someone and I can say, “I never thought of that perspective or view before.” and “Wow, that’s a whole new way of looking at…” I think the American Negotiation Institute’s guiding principle says it best: “The best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations.”

What have you done to address your blind spots?

This Chair Rocks by Ashton Applewhite

Posted on by Seniye Groff

I challenge you to flip the script and believe that you are not OLD, instead you are experienced!  Ageism is stereotyping and discrimination on the basis of a person’s age. Influenced by social movements that were challenging racism and sexism, Dr. Robert Butler coined the word “ageism” in 1968. It is the last socially sanctioned prejudice.  With age comes experience; with youth comes experience.  Both are valuable.

We experience ageism any time someone assumes that we’re “too old” for something—a task, a haircut, a relationship—instead of finding out who we are and what we’re capable of. Or “too young;” ageism cuts both ways, although in a youth-oriented society older people bear the brunt of it.

Like racism and sexism, discrimination on the basis of age serves a social and economic purpose: to legitimize and sustain inequalities between groups. It’s not about how we look. It’s about how people in power assign meaning to how we look.

Stereotyping—the assumption that all members of a group are the same—underlies ageism (as it does all “isms”). Stereotyping is always a mistake, but especially when it comes to age, because the older we get, the more different from one another we become.

No one is born prejudiced, but attitudes about age—as well as race and gender—start to form in early childhood. Over a lifetime they harden into a set of truths: “just the way it is.” Unless we challenge ageist stereotypes—Old people are incompetent. Wrinkles are ugly. It’s sad to be old— we feel shame and embarrassment instead of taking pride in the accomplishment of aging. That’s internalized ageism.

Unless we confront the ageism in and around us, we lay the foundation for our own irrelevance and marginalization. The critical starting point is to acknowledge our own prejudices, because change requires awareness.

Working together we can:

  • Challenge ageism – in ourselves, social practices, policies, and institutions.
  • Create new language and models that embrace the full life journey.
  • Create new paradigms in society so that adults can participate fully consistent with their capabilities and ambitions at all stages of life.
  • Celebrate the contributions of older adults.
  • Create a more compassionate and interdependent society that supports the well-being of people of all ages.
  • Inspire and help develop cross-generational communities where people of all ages enjoy the gifts and capacities they have to offer.

Read Applewhite’s book to learn more.

Conversations About Race

Posted on by Seniye Groff

I recently finished reading “How to Have Difficult Conversations About Race” by Kwame Christian. I believe stumbling blocks do exist about how to get the conversation started and folks avoid the tough discussions all together. Conversations about race are loaded with minefields of discomfort, misunderstanding and lack of know-how. But does that mean we avoid these discussions all together?! Absolutely not because if we avoid, we never solve.

I loved Kwame’s suggestion to mobilize compassionate curiosity. For one thing, what a great way to remove defensiveness by calling it curiosity. His framework includes three steps:

  1. Acknowledge and validate emotions.
  2. Get curious with compassion.
  3. Use joint problem solving.

Compassionate curiosity can (and should) not only be used with others, but also yourself. I have spoken before about being on auto-pilot and a great way to move away from this mindless way of acting is to stop and question yourself (and others) on why they believe something…in other words step back to self-reflect. Other phrases such as, “Tell me more about…and help me understand” are powerful, empathetic ways to learn where someone is coming from. Kwame’s book walks through this methodology in great detail and with examples, which are very helpful to guide the reader into action (and comfort).

Another eye opener in his book discusses speaking the same language. Kwame states, “The dictionary definition of a word isn’t important. What’s important is what the person you’re talking to believes the word to mean.” Great examples are the words privilege and inclusion. I loved his explanation of how conversations get derailed when agreement on what the word even means is not established yet! I am definitely adding this important step to my conversations. Check out chapter six to learn more and get detailed examples.

It is not new information to not speak in absolutes and Kwame touches on this, too. He suggests to use often instead of the word always. Also, use likely or frequently instead of will and finally use rarely or infrequently instead of never. Just say those words aloud and you can already sense how the conversation can change for the better.

In my mind taking action is front and center and Kwame focuses the last section of his book on this important verb. He states, “racial inequity is a problem of bad policy not bad people.” So he is a proponent of changing inequitable policies that create inequitable outcomes rather than individual beliefs. “Progress doesn’t move at the speed of comfort.” Wow and YES! If we wait for people to be comfortable we will never move…we will wait forever. And my biggest pet peeve, hope vs. action. For example, our hope and prayers are with families every time there is a mass shooting but until we actually take ACTION and change policy, nothing will truly change. Kwame suggests that with policy change hearts and minds actually do change. An example is how organizations had to quickly pivot due to COVID-19, whereas in typical times that severe change would have taken likely decades!

Another powerful sentiment of Kwame’s that I definitely know about (and likely anyone in the DEI space has experienced) is this:

“When you’re advocating for change within your organization, you may be seen as an irritant, too. Difficult conversations can make people uncomfortable and that discomfort can lead people to blame the irritant, because it seemed as though everything was fine before someone spoke up. People often struggle to see a problem if it’s not a problem for them. But the irritant of advocacy is the medication necessary to cure the greater ill of racism.”

“The End of Bias: A Beginning” by Jessica Nordell

Posted on by Seniye Groff

“Bias is normal but not acceptable”

Jessica Nordell

Nordell’s book shared some concepts that I think are worth repeating. I certainly have been penalized for speaking out during my career, but imagine how much more difficult it is for marginalized folks. I loved her thought about seeing differences does not matter but instead, it’s how we react to differences in harmful ways that count. What comes to mind for you? How have you reacted negatively when someone has shared something different from what you believe or think?

Another idea that resonated for me in the book was the idea to “notice when stereotypes arise and actively replace with alternative images.” Wow! In other words, look for situational reasons for a person’s behavior rather than assuming it comes from inherent characteristics. This recently came to life in a conversation with a peer when they were relating a story of a recent interview they held with two candidates. The candidates qualifications were similar (one had more formal education, the other had more hands- on experience) and they ended up choosing the candidate with more education. I asked, “Why?” and then I followed up with, “Perhaps the second candidate did not have access to additional education”. My peer responded with “Funny you say that. When I called the candidate and let him know he was not chosen, he said that exact thing”. It is important to remember that marginalized folks often go to underfunded schools with less resources. It is not intentional on their part to get a subpar education…the system creates this inequity in education.

I love how Nordell distills bias to a choice. A choice that you can change by eliminating automatic thinking and instead use conscious deliberation. So, do I accept my automatic evaluation of people or do I try something new? Do I believe my first reaction or do I stop to look for further evidence?

Stop and scrutinize initial assumptions and envision an alternative explanation. Shift from simply reacting to observing your reaction. Frankly this action could work in many parts of life, not just bias. But, it certainly would be a big WIN if we could do it with our own bias.

Let me know your thoughts!

Is Your Organization Ready?

Posted on by Seniye Groff
Parthenon 2022

I read recently that DEI professionals have an average of an 18 month lifespan (just a little shorter than Greek ruins). I don’t find this surprising given the many stories DEI peers have shared about being in a DEI-focused role in an environment resistant to change…a system resistant to change…a country and even a world resistant to change. Over and over I hear about DEI professionals with targets on their backs for just trying to do their jobs. Why is that? WTF is more like it! I am pretty confident that DEI professionals are not in their jobs to be a “check the box” role in their organizations. DEI work is emotional work. It is hard work and I know we do this work so that we can MAKE a difference, not just serve in a figurehead capacity.

So how do we determine if our role is just fluff filled with lip service? I have a few suggestions of things to dig deeper on to determine if it is time to move to an organization that actually means what they say. To be fair, the type of change we are all working towards is not fast work. The needle will move slowly but it still needs to move and I want evidence that it is actually moving.

Budget. No project, initiative or role can move forward without money. Having a budget (and being able to use that budget) signals that there is validation for your efforts. A budget allows you to tie strategic goals with money to accomplish those goals.

Positions. You might momentarily feel proud of yourself that the organization finally “put their money where their mouth is” and created a full-time, singularly-focused DEI role. You might say to yourself, “finally the organization realizes this role is critical.” But I say not so fast because you will find that there actually is way too much work for one person. One subtle way to stop progress is to bury the DEI professional with so much work that they cannot see the what’s really going on. So, don’t gloat so quickly and instead determine what roles are needed to really do the WORK and then make the case to get those roles hired.

Authority. Do you have a seat at the proverbial table? If not, you will get mired in layers of approvals and suddenly the simplest thing like a educational article or training event will get stuck in roadblocks and potholes. You basically sit at the red light eternally…or until the article or topic’s essence is no longer current with whatever the issue was that you wanted to highlight.

Diversions. Leadership will throw you a bone and tell you how great you are doing…what an awesome influence you are making on the organization. Don’t be fooled…incremental changes like getting the organization to stop using some male-focused words in not what we are after. Yes, it is great to change the bias vernacular that your organization is using but it will never be more impactful than true, systemic changes like digging deep into your recruiting practices and eliminating bias from the process. For example, where does the organization choose to recruit from to how they interview all the way to how they decide if someone is a “fit”. If we continue to hire folks like what we already have then we continue to live in our bubble of sameness.

Employee Resource Groups (ERGs). Creating an environment where ERGs are not only allowed to form, but actually encouraged, will empower employees with shared identities, characteristics, and/or life experiences to come together to collaborate and support each other. It also will enable other employees to learn how to be come allies, a necessary ingredient for change to happen.

We are overdue to band together as a profession and as human beings. As Brene Brown mentioned in her latest book, Atlas of the Heart, “I’m here to get it right, not to be right.” Let’s get it right by setting ourselves up to successfully do the work and make an impact in this world for generations to come. Frankly the world is evolving and change is a part of evolution.

What does getting it right look like? Please comment and let’s figure out how we can support each other and the systemic change so overdue.

Build Your DEI Program

Posted on by Seniye Groff

Last week I spoke at the #HRTED2022 conference about ideas to build your internal DEI program. Primarily this session focused on four elements of a program, internships and employee resource groups (ERGs). I want to share the main points of the presentation. If you want more information, please contact me. This post will touch on the four elements and internships. My next post will focus on ERGs.

The four elements of a DEI program consist of:

  • Metrics-identify what and how you are going to measure your program.
  • Process-consider the many processes in your organization including people, operations and purchasing.
  • Education-there are lots of training needs so make sure you force rank them, determine your strategy and how you will measure effectiveness.
  • Initiatives-this is where internships, ERGs, mentorships, leader cohorts and many other programs come into play.

Make sure you create organizational buy-in.

  • Develop a business case for why DEI matters to organizational goals and success
  • Conduct an honest assessment of whether the organization can support diverse interns
  • Be prepared to answer difficult questions
  • Demonstrate patience

Engagement Strategy:

  • Foster an inclusive environment
  • Create micro-connections
  • Engage executive team
  • Establish intern cohorts
  • Pair interns with a strong mentor
  • Maintain frequent check-ins