“Every transition begins with an ending.  We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up the new one—not just outwardly but inwardly, too.” William Bridges is famous for his transitions framework and this latest book rehashes his three phases of change.  The initial phase of Endings involves acknowledging and processing the losses associated with the old ways of doing things. It’s crucial to allow individuals time to grieve and accept that something is ending before they can move forward. Let’s face it, we are always in a constant state of change given how quickly our world moves.  And whether or not you like change, it is a fact of life so wouldn’t it be effective to have strategies in place to help you with the ending and what is to come afterwards?

During the Endings:

• Clearly define what is ending.
• Sort out what parts or aspects you will keep and what you will leave behind.
• Identify what do you need to unlearn?

In order to end something a few things need to happen.  First, Disengagement, which essentially says you need to feel less attachment to the thing, person or process so ask yourself how you can do that.  Then you need to Dismantle or take apart the structure.  For example, if you have a particular route you take to work but you lose your job, you need to undue your automatic action to take that route in the morning.  One then moves to Disidentification.  Ask yourself, “In what ways are you no longer the person you were?” Then consider Disenchantment to define what no longer holds appeal about that thing or person.  And finally, Disorientation.  What is disorienting to you about this ending? Journaling is a great way to work through these stages.

After the Endings comes the Neutral Zone. This is the “in-between” phase where the old is gone but the new is not fully established. It can be a time of uncertainty, confusion, and even resistance as individuals navigate the unfamiliar.  During this “empty” time take some moments to appreciate this white space to problem solve and creatively process so that new ideas can emerge.  Open yourself to possibilities.  Renewal is the heart of the Neutral Zone.  You begin to see a new way of life, a way of being,  a fertile time for ideas and energy.

This final stage involves embracing the new ways of doing things and building new habits, skills, and relationships called the New Beginnings. Have a plan and purpose.  Focus on achieving small, quick successes.  With each success comes confidence that the change or new thing will eventually feel right.

Read more here.

How can you use this model during your next transition?