Today was a day of random experiences. It started with Twin Peaks. The view is unmatched (and so is the lack of parking). I will definitely visit again and try to find parking and hike to the top.
I then visited Buena Vista Park. This park has elevation, lots of tall trees and impressive views.
And finally I was on Grove Street in The Haight for Halloween. Yes, I walked Haight Ashbury and saw all the shops but more impressive were the beautiful Victorian homes. I then met up with a friend of a friend to hand out Halloween candy. But this was no ordinary event! The streets were shut off to cars, there was a band, lights and hundreds of pounds of candy. I was told that this is one of the primary areas kids come and trick or treat. And they showed up! Even Pete got into the action by licking any kid that got close enough while reaching into the candy bowl. The costumes were impressive and I loved seeing the sense of community.
It is funny that all it takes is a routine to feel comfortable and at home. At least that seems to be the case with me. I located my gym and it is only a thirty minute walk each way. I have found my grocery store and most importantly, landed many options for Pete’s daily walks. I see Steven (the valet at the Fairmont) daily so that Pete can gather his treat and I have met people, and know their names, from my daily visits at the dog park.
The process of wandering is not only learning about the new places I visit, but also learning about myself, too. Building a community is important to me and these daily achievements help make that happen. I have learned that the daily minutiae of crap doesn’t end just because I am wandering; I am still spending parts of my days dealing with daily living stuff.
Today I met with friends of a friend. Meeting new people allows me to hear new perspectives. We met this morning at the boat house at Golden Gate Park. Golden Gate is larger than Central Park and we saw some really cool art installations on a pedestrian-only area of the park. When I meet people that have lived in the city for 30 plus years, I learn their favorite spots, as well as, their perspective on what works and what doesn’t in their hometown. I saw the park through their eyes (and it was splendid!).
I don’t want you to think I don’t make mistakes, though. Today, after our walk I tried to return back to my rented studio…big mistake! With Fleet Week and a North Beach festival happening, there was not only no parking but many streets were shut down. After driving around for an hour trying to find a parking space, I decided to return to the Golden Gate Park area. Pete and I investigated Lincoln Park and found the Lincoln Park steps. We also walked around Lands End. Basically, I was trying to burn time.
At 5 p.m. I returned but to no avail…still no spots. Fortunately, Carli’s friend took my car and found a spot in her neighborhood since she will be using my car tonight, anyway. Thank goodness Pete is easygoing. I will be more careful going forward on noting events and when I should and shouldn’t use my car!
Well after six plus weeks of waiting, today was the day to take off! Of course, it is bittersweet but something I have been planning for the last six years. The numerous good-byes included celebratory drinks and meals, kind words and promises to keep in touch. The momentous day started with my very good friends making me breakfast and giving me fresh baked goods to take on the road. Then a matcha to fuel me for the first leg of my trip. I stopped in Eugene to visit my new college student! Today was the first day of classes. Pete walked the campus and even though it was rainy, Pete was oblivious because the smells (and dropped food crumbs) were just too good!
After my Eugene stop, I headed south and then West to Reedsport. I wanted to check out the Oregon Dunes National Park but it was just too rainy. We saw Elk at the Elk Viewpoint in Dean Creek and then headed down to Bandon. North Bend had a cute downtown and smelled of fresh lumber (which was present everywhere). Pete and I walked Old Town Bandon and then found a hotel. It was a last minute find but actually very nice. We drove about six hours today and it was a great first day.
I moved out of my home of 15 years on August 13 and immediately spent two nights at a friend’s house. We originally met on the tennis court and it turned into dog walks, lunches and long talks. And these two nights were no different…long talks deep into the dark, warm nights of summer.
I then moved back to my previous street to housesit for a neighbor for two weeks. Her garden was glorious and the art work that showered her house’s walls were sublime. I learned she did some of the art work (the things you learn when you stay at someone’s home) and other pieces were purchased at many art shows. As a matter of fact, she decided to stop going to art shows because she is so compelled to buy art and there are no more bare walls. Each piece felt spiritual and special in her home. Her ex-husband was a woodworker and the trim and shelving that dressed the house was absolutely divine, too.
During this six weeks I attended several events at various parks during Portland’s Summer for All events. I look forward to this every summer and this year I managed several concerts, an opera and a comedy show. Portland really shines during the summer and these events really highlight all the wonderful parks in this city.
I also managed a trip to Mt. Rainier. This has been on my list to-do for a long time. I realized (a bit too late) that it is really easy to get there and, of course, the mountain trails were gorgeous. The accessibility and beauty of the outdoors in the Pacific North West really is difficult to beat!
Meeting with friends to say good-bye meant a lot of food. Some places I visited were Jam on Hawthorne for brunch. I’ve been here a few times and it’s always busy, which is a testament to it’s flavorful, hearty meals. I ate at an old Portland institution, Nicolas. The flat bread cooked right before it arrives at your table has remained consistently delicious throughout all these years. I attended a networking event at Hey Love where the cocktails were lovely and the food varied. I made a new friend and talked shop! I had coffee at Crema Coffee and caught up with a Laurelhurst mom outside at the open tables created by blocking off the street from cars. It was perfect.
It was a full two weeks of movin’ and shakin’ and then I moved to Sellwood for a dog sitting gig for my next two weeks. I have certainly visited Sellwood before but the dog sitting allowed me a more intimate glimpse of the area. The Sellwood and Westmoreland Parks were well-maintained and clean. Pete loved the new smells and having another dog as his partner in crime. They got along well and every evening chased each other for over an hour. I found Cloud City Ice Cream along the way. Yowzah! Let’s just say it’s a good thing I don’t live closer.
I had lunch with a friend at Tavern on Kruse which was closer from my Sellwood digs than NE Portland. Lunch was great and I loved my salmon burger. We sat outside which was a perfect place to eat lunch on a Portland summer day. My neighbors on my old street had a get together for me on a Saturday night. It was a wonderful gathering and emulated all the gatherings I coordinated when I lived on the street. It was the perfect sendoff!
The next day another friend had me over for brunch. We shared work and motherhood experiences for many years and she is someone very dear to me. I met a friend for coffee at Carina’s Bakery in Beaverton. I don’t make it to Beaverton very often but my friend wanted to try this vegan bakery. There were so many sweet and savory options and we were able to grab a table outside.
A few nights later I went to one of my favorite restaurants with one of my favorite couples. Lovely’s 50 50 did not disappoint and we got a table right away (highly unusual but helped that we got in line right at 5 p.m.). We ate two salads and two pizzas and, of course, homemade ice cream. I highly recommend the salted caramel.
I walked the Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden. It was my first time there and although it is a small park, it was so beautiful with water, fauna and wildlife. The next night I went to dinner at Campana with my favorite family. The restaurant bills themselves as the best Italian restaurant, which is a bold statement. I enjoyed my meal but it certainly is not the best Italian restaurant I’ve been to. But it didn’t matter because I was with some of my most treasured people. Enough said.
Coffee with another friend happened at Sterling Coffee Roasters. I had never been to this coffee shop and the vibe was cool. It is on NW 21st, every seat was occupied and the coffee was really smooth. That evening I it was dinner with another set of neighbors. We went to Ken’s Pizza. It was a later dinner than usual because ever since this place was highlighted on Instagram, it has been packed…every night…every hour. Admittedly everything that comes out of this kitchen is amazing…the pizza, the roasted vegetables and desserts. These neighbors have been kind and generous with me and I made sure they realized how much I value their friendship. The tears flowed that evening.
I met a good friend from one of my jobs in Portland for a walk around Reed College. The campus is serene, green and lush. It was great to catch up and talk about our dreams for the future. The next evening I met a friend that I made at the gym. It makes sense since I work out religiously. We went to Blackbird Wine and Atomic Cheese. This is the sweetest wine shop around. It’s small and quaint and the wines and cheeses are scrumptious. Another evening sitting outside. My only complaint is the shop closes at 7 p.m., which is way too early when the ambience so good.
I managed a lunch at Paadee with a second visit with one of my friends…what a bonus! I can never go wrong with Thai for lunch. I was invited spur of the moment to bowling on a Saturday night at Grand Central Bowl. I decided to go for the social aspect and had no intention of bowling. But, alas, I was not allowed to opt out and I guess it is good I didn’t because I ended up winning against my four opponents. On the weekends a reservation is a must and they hold you to the times…we had to beg to finish our game when our hour expired so that we could see our scores.
Happy Hour with another work friend at Cheese and Crack. The cheese boards and soft serve are not to be missed! I love this place and have visited often with Carli. If I were to open a business, I would love something similar to this place.
And alas the drop off at University of Oregon…the final stop on the goodbye tour.
Throughout the month, I kept running into people I know and was asked over and over, “You’re not gone yet?” My timeline was always dictated by Pearl’s school start date (super late September 29th). And although it is a late start date, it did allow me to do lots of fun things and visit with tons of my friends in my last six weeks in Portland. Lucky me!
I am on my third house sitting gig and my fourth move since I sold my house and moved out in mid August. I was telling a friend today that it’s been more difficult that I expected. The constant moving and learning a new house, establishing a new routine and making sure my dog is taken care of has been a lot of work. Additionally, I make sure that the homes are treated with extra special care (more than I showed my own) because I want to respect and show appreciation for the generosity people have shown me by sharing their homes. Sometimes, this feels like “walking on eggshells”.
Even with the discomfort, I remind myself that I am doing all of this for a reason. I intentionally blew up my life because I don’t want to live a stagnant, “autopilot” life. I believe short term irritation will garnish me with big time gains of a new perspective and value for life and all of its facets, ups and downs and experiences.
My to-do list is getting shorter and shorter. New tires on my car yesterday. Today I signed up for Trusted Housesitters. I figure it will open me to potential locations I haven’t considered or even know about! I also met with a friend today, and as with other friends I have visited, I invited her to accompany me on the road or join me for a part of my road trip. I let her know how important she is to me. I think we don’t tell people enough how they have added to our lives and journey. I am adamant the my friends know they are truly special to me.
And so my journey continues. It will have its peaks and valleys and I will continue to remind myself that it is where the growth happens. And more important than growth, it reminds me I am human and striving to be the very best version of myself, parent and friend.
For the last six plus years I have explored what could be possible with my reset button. I’ve learned a few things. I have done a ton of research, both formal and informal, explored multiple locations and considered what is most important to me. And, of course, talked to so many people about their experiences, perspectives and ideas.
I realize that change is tough and can even be paralyzing. I can help you:
Figure out how to get started.
Consider how to keep going.
Learn how to pivot.
And everything in between.
I have created a subscription Substack. If you want help with your second half contact me and consider signing up for my Substack to get tools, tips and advice.
I am a 58 year-old woman that is leaving everything I know after 30 years of cultivating a community in Portland, Oregon. I sold my house in July, put everything in storage and decided to wander with my dog for the next year across the US and Canada. My trip begins once I drop my daughter off at college on September 26th. In the meantime, I have assembled six weeks of house sitting and dog sitting gigs since my house sold faster than expected. I am still in the cocoon of familiarity. The “realness” of my adventure begins once I step away from all that I know in Portland.
My time wandering will allow me to discover the nooks and crannies of America and learn a ton about myself at the same time. This is a story about exploration, curiosity and courage as I travel solo. I believe this story is timely because a lot of people my age are at a crossroad about what to do once the kids leave the house. Change is scary to many and I believe the myriad are afraid to actually take the plunge into the unknown. There is no judgment of this fact. I hope to inspire others to take the leap in whatever form is right for them.
Autopilot is so easy to fall into. The daily minutiae of life sucks up so much time and energy and provides us with so little value. And yet the majority of our energy and attention is focused on this minutiae. Without a house and kids to take care of, I believe my time can be focused on being present and focused on learning, exploring and exposing myself to new things.
Croatia October 2024
One of the biggest questions I ask myself while thinking about this upcoming adventure is how I can continue to build community while on the road and transient. Since community is so important to me, I hope that friends reach out and say hi, ask questions and just cheer me on. I know the trip will not be perfect and there will be days when hearing from a known entity will be exactly what I need to be able to keep moving forward. Follow me on this webpage, on Instagram and Substack. Ask questions, make comments and send words of encouragement. I hope to hear from you.
Mt. Rainer has been on my must-do-list for a long time. As my time in Oregon and the Pacific Northwest winds down, I am a bit more urgent about achieving some of those must-visit goals. Mt. Rainer did not disappoint. Fairly last minute, I was able to get a hotel room at the Whittaker Hotel & Bunkhouse. The nightly rate was “reasonable” given high season, the rooms were rustic and the staff friendly. I also liked that the hotel was an homage to Lou Whittaker, who died in Ashford at the age of 96 and summited Mt. Rainer at the age of 12!
I left Portland at 6 a.m. and went right to the park, with no timed entry at the Nisqually pass. I started at the visitor center and did the Skyline Loop (5.5 miles). This loop trail is the quintessential Paradise area trail. It starts at the main visitor area up through subalpine meadows. Along the way I viewed Mount Rainier, glaciers, Panorama Point, Myrtle Falls and the Tatoosh Range, with glimpses of Mount Adams and Mount St. Helens. It was full sun exposure with 1700+ elevation gain AND beautiful!
On day two, I hiked Tipsoo Lake and the Naches Trailto Dewey Lake (about 5 miles) in the morning. Wildflowers and four different lakes rewarded me with the challenging uphill climb. And, of course, Mt. Rainer was present from all angles.
Reflection Lake to Narada Falls on the Lakes Trail Loop (about 6 miles). This large lake was another beauty with Mt. Rainier front and center (and its reflection on the lake) but the real reward were the multiple falls on the Lakes Trail Loop.
I met several people along the way that could not believe the natural beauty that I live in daily. I agree the world is a beautiful place and the lush, green forest coupled with larger than life mountains makes the Pacific Northwest a pretty special place.
In the book, “Right Place, Right Time ” by Ryan Frederick, Frederick makes the statement, “Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it isn’t the right decision.” This simple statement encapsulated exactly how I have been feeling. I love change and always have but that doesn’t mean I don’t doubt myself sometimes. Although I am making a tremendous change in my life by selling my home and wandering for the next year, I am excited and a little frightened by what I have done.
Frederick’s book focuses on finding the right home for the second half of one’s life. He asks the reader to think about Purpose, Social Connection, Physical Well Being, Financial Well Being and Place as they consider where they currently live and where they might want to live. This dashboard can aid in the decision of where to land and in what type of home (including retirement communities). Six years ago I created a weighted spreadsheet to assess similar categories. It has been a helpful tool as I have researched and visited places that might be a potential landing spot.
Some friends recently mentioned to me that I should leverage my process and what I learned to help others that are considering a late-in-life move. Perhaps a podcast or even some client coaching might be in order. I don’t feel like an expert, but I suppose I have learned a thing or two that could help others. I also might be able to coach someone that is afraid of change since change is my superpower. I look at change as an opportunity to learn, which I have always loved. For now, I am preparing for my wandering…five weeks and counting.
“Every transition begins with an ending. We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up the new one—not just outwardly but inwardly, too.” William Bridges is famous for his transitions framework and this latest book rehashes his three phases of change. The initial phase of Endings involves acknowledging and processing the losses associated with the old ways of doing things. It’s crucial to allow individuals time to grieve and accept that something is ending before they can move forward. Let’s face it, we are always in a constant state of change given how quickly our world moves. And whether or not you like change, it is a fact of life so wouldn’t it be effective to have strategies in place to help you with the ending and what is to come afterwards?
During the Endings:
Clearly define what is ending.
Sort out what parts or aspects you will keep and what you will leave behind.
Identify what do you need to unlearn?
In order to end something a few things need to happen. First, Disengagement, which essentially says you need to feel less attachment to the thing, person or process so ask yourself how you can do that. Then you need to Dismantle or take apart the structure. For example, if you have a particular route you take to work but you lose your job, you need to undue your automatic action to take that route in the morning. One then moves to Disidentification. Ask yourself, “In what ways are you no longer the person you were?” Then consider Disenchantment to define what no longer holds appeal about that thing or person. And finally, Disorientation. What is disorienting to you about this ending? Journaling is a great way to work through these stages.
After the Endings comes the Neutral Zone. This is the “in-between” phase where the old is gone but the new is not fully established. It can be a time of uncertainty, confusion, and even resistance as individuals navigate the unfamiliar. During this “empty” time take some moments to appreciate this white space to problem solve and creatively process so that new ideas can emerge. Open yourself to possibilities. Renewal is the heart of the Neutral Zone. You begin to see a new way of life, a way of being, a fertile time for ideas and energy.
This final stage involves embracing the new ways of doing things and building new habits, skills, and relationships called the New Beginnings. Have a plan and purpose. Focus on achieving small, quick successes. With each success comes confidence that the change or new thing will eventually feel right.
seniyegroff 