Author: Seniye Groff

Mt. Rainer

Posted on by Seniye Groff

Mt. Rainer has been on my must-do-list for a long time. As my time in Oregon and the Pacific Northwest winds down, I am a bit more urgent about achieving some of those must-visit goals. Mt. Rainer did not disappoint. Fairly last minute, I was able to get a hotel room at the Whittaker Hotel & Bunkhouse. The nightly rate was “reasonable” given high season, the rooms were rustic and the staff friendly. I also liked that the hotel was an homage to Lou Whittaker, who died in Ashford at the age of 96 and summited Mt. Rainer at the age of 12!

I left Portland at 6 a.m. and went right to the park, with no timed entry at the Nisqually pass. I started at the visitor center and did the Skyline Loop (5.5 miles).  This loop trail is the quintessential Paradise area trail. It starts at the main visitor area up through subalpine meadows. Along the way I viewed Mount Rainier, glaciers, Panorama Point, Myrtle Falls and the Tatoosh Range, with glimpses of Mount Adams and Mount St. Helens. It was full sun exposure with 1700+ elevation gain AND beautiful!

On day two, I hiked Tipsoo Lake and the Naches Trail to Dewey Lake (about 5 miles) in the morning. Wildflowers and four different lakes rewarded me with the challenging uphill climb. And, of course, Mt. Rainer was present from all angles.

Reflection Lake to Narada Falls on the Lakes Trail Loop (about 6 miles). This large lake was another beauty with Mt. Rainier front and center (and its reflection on the lake) but the real reward were the multiple falls on the Lakes Trail Loop.

I met several people along the way that could not believe the natural beauty that I live in daily. I agree the world is a beautiful place and the lush, green forest coupled with larger than life mountains makes the Pacific Northwest a pretty special place.

Change

Posted on by Seniye Groff

In the book, “Right Place, Right Time ” by Ryan Frederick, Frederick makes the statement, “Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it isn’t the right decision.” This simple statement encapsulated exactly how I have been feeling. I love change and always have but that doesn’t mean I don’t doubt myself sometimes. Although I am making a tremendous change in my life by selling my home and wandering for the next year, I am excited and a little frightened by what I have done.

Frederick’s book focuses on finding the right home for the second half of one’s life. He asks the reader to think about Purpose, Social Connection, Physical Well Being, Financial Well Being and Place as they consider where they currently live and where they might want to live. This dashboard can aid in the decision of where to land and in what type of home (including retirement communities). Six years ago I created a weighted spreadsheet to assess similar categories. It has been a helpful tool as I have researched and visited places that might be a potential landing spot.

Some friends recently mentioned to me that I should leverage my process and what I learned to help others that are considering a late-in-life move. Perhaps a podcast or even some client coaching might be in order. I don’t feel like an expert, but I suppose I have learned a thing or two that could help others. I also might be able to coach someone that is afraid of change since change is my superpower. I look at change as an opportunity to learn, which I have always loved. For now, I am preparing for my wandering…five weeks and counting.

Book: “Transitions Making Sense of Life’s Changes” by William Bridges

Posted on by Seniye Groff

“Every transition begins with an ending.  We have to let go of the old thing before we can pick up the new one—not just outwardly but inwardly, too.” William Bridges is famous for his transitions framework and this latest book rehashes his three phases of change.  The initial phase of Endings involves acknowledging and processing the losses associated with the old ways of doing things. It’s crucial to allow individuals time to grieve and accept that something is ending before they can move forward. Let’s face it, we are always in a constant state of change given how quickly our world moves.  And whether or not you like change, it is a fact of life so wouldn’t it be effective to have strategies in place to help you with the ending and what is to come afterwards?

During the Endings:

  • Clearly define what is ending.
  • Sort out what parts or aspects you will keep and what you will leave behind.
  • Identify what do you need to unlearn?

In order to end something a few things need to happen.  First, Disengagement, which essentially says you need to feel less attachment to the thing, person or process so ask yourself how you can do that.  Then you need to Dismantle or take apart the structure.  For example, if you have a particular route you take to work but you lose your job, you need to undue your automatic action to take that route in the morning.  One then moves to Disidentification.  Ask yourself, “In what ways are you no longer the person you were?” Then consider Disenchantment to define what no longer holds appeal about that thing or person.  And finally, Disorientation.  What is disorienting to you about this ending? Journaling is a great way to work through these stages.

After the Endings comes the Neutral Zone. This is the “in-between” phase where the old is gone but the new is not fully established. It can be a time of uncertainty, confusion, and even resistance as individuals navigate the unfamiliar.  During this “empty” time take some moments to appreciate this white space to problem solve and creatively process so that new ideas can emerge.  Open yourself to possibilities.  Renewal is the heart of the Neutral Zone.  You begin to see a new way of life, a way of being,  a fertile time for ideas and energy.

This final stage involves embracing the new ways of doing things and building new habits, skills, and relationships called the New Beginnings. Have a plan and purpose.  Focus on achieving small, quick successes.  With each success comes confidence that the change or new thing will eventually feel right.

Read more here.

How can you use this model during your next transition?

“How to Die with Zero” by Bill Perkins.

Posted on by Seniye Groff

Bill Perkins challenges us to rethink things…really big things.  By aiming to die with zero, you will forever change your autopilot focus from earning, saving and maximizing your wealth to living the best life you possibly can.  Perkins builds a case through examples from his own life  when he was solely focused on making money but not truly living his life.  He explains to the reader that experiences give us memory dividends that work does not provide.    I agree with him that we should be rich in things that include:

  • Rich in experiences
  • Rich is adventures
  • Rich in memories.

And so Perkins asks the reader to critically think about what meaningful and memorable experiences do you want to have?  Once you know this, start mapping out time buckets in five-to-ten-year increments and list your desired experiences.  Perkins helps with the math and addresses that people often fear running out of money or we operate on autopilot to continue to work and amass money that in the end we will never spend.  He suggests that you donate to your beloved charities now and spend time and money on your kids and people you love now.  Don’t be fooled to think you must continue to work and accumulate and then when you are finally able to retire, you no longer have the health to spend all that money you accumulated.

At the end of the day, Perkins asks, why people fear running out of money more that wasting their lives…a very good question indeed. Some concepts in the book include:

  • Look at your fears and what is holding you back.
  • Take more chances when you are younger.
  • Every moment is a choice. Choices reflect priorities.  Be intentional.  Health and the ability to enjoy experiences.
  • Fear wasting your life and your time.
  • Peak ages are 45-60…so use it wisely.  Plan accordingly.  Peak is a specific date tied to your biological age instead of thinking peak as a dollar amount.
  • Cost to live times number of years left to live.
  • Overly delayed gratification and regret.  People on their deathbeds regret not doing things, not spending time with loved ones etc., not working more or making more etc.
  • Shifting balance of health, time and money.  Young= great health, lots of time and less money.  Middle age (31-60) time, money and health equal.  61+ money and time high, health low.

Life goal is not about maximizing your income and wealth but instead maximizing your life experiences and fulfillment and lasting memories of those experiences.

https://www.diewithzerobook.com/welcome

The 5 Types of Wealth by Sahil Bloom

Posted on by Seniye Groff

According to Bloom there are five types of wealth that ideally work in harmony that enable you to live your best life. “You’ve been lied to. Throughout your life, you’ve been slowly indoctrinated to believe that money is the only type of wealth,” Bloom said in an interview with People. “In reality, your wealthy life may involve money, but in the end, it will be defined by everything else.”

  • Time Wealth: How many moments do you have with your remaining loved ones? This section teaches how to prioritize energy-saving tasks to unlock more time in the day.
  • Social Wealth: Who will be sitting in the front row at your funeral? Learn how to create deeper bonds and build a powerful network.
  • Mental Wealth: What would your 10-year-old self say to you today? This teaches how to engage your purpose, and spark constant growth.
  • Physical Wealth: Will you be dancing at your 80th birthday party? Get advice on how to maximize health and vitality through three simple principles of movement, nutrition and recovery.
  • Financial Wealth: What is your definition of enough? Learn how to achieve financial independence and define your version of “enough.”

The book is filled with helpful questionnaires, charts and examples to help the reader consume the ample information.  But as in all things, taking action is what makes the difference so I suggest bite-sized goals to bring the tools to life. The book gives the reader a game plan for forming deeper bonds to grow networks, engaging purpose, maximizing health, and achieving financial independence. Some of the ideas in the book you already know, other concepts will be new and worth thinking about and possibly incorporating into your life.

Which wealth do you want to grow?

Article Published!

Posted on by Seniye Groff

Getting published is no easy feat so when I was a book reviewer, even if the book did not resonate with me, I read it, I reviewed it and I tailored my review to have a positive focus. I have published my thesis, several business articles and an article in Adoption Today after I adopted my second daughter. But for the last six years I have focused on getting some of my creative nonfiction pieces published.

I started writing again during my divorce. Writing late at night helped me process the swirl of feelings I was experiencing during this turbulent time in my life. Last year I joined a writing group to continue to finetune my writing. It was an amazing experience writing, reading, getting immediate feedback and hearing the writing of others. This encounter was immensely helpful not only in my writing, but also in the thought of getting some of my pieces published. I had never really considered publishing articles of my most deepest, personal thoughts but once I read them to the group, it became easier to expose myself.

Any writer will tell you that getting a piece published is extremely difficult. I have received so many rejection emails, I have lost count. So imagine my disbelief when I received an email with the subject line, “Submission Accepted”. I actually read the email several times because I did not really believe it. I am happy to report is was true.

My piece was accepted <a href="http://&lt;!– wp:embed {"url":"https://www.sfwp.com/sfwp-quarterly/issue-32-/spring-2025&quot;,"type":"rich","providerNameSlug":"embed"} –> <figure class="wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-embed wp-block-embed-embed"><div class="wp-block-embed__wrapper"> https://www.sfwp.com/sfwp-quarterly/issue-32-/spring-2025 </div></figure> here.

My piece is here.

Let me know what you think.

Solo Travel

Posted on by Seniye Groff

I am fortunate to have completed several solo trips oversees and I often get asked, “What is your favorite trip?”  Solo travel has been empowering and liberating for me. Traveling solo allows for the ultimate flexibility.  If I like a place I stay longer and if I don’t, I can quickly move on.  I think back to my first solo trip and stressing about not having anyone to travel with me.  I had a close friend dying of cancer and she told me, “Seniye if I could travel, I would do it in a minute!  Go travel…it will all work out.”  And she was 100% correct.

My favorite trip so far has been Morocco. It was my first time on the African continent and it did not disappoint.  The Sahara Desert was so beautiful…the sand a brilliant orange and the night sky littered with millions of stars that you just cannot see anywhere else because of the light pollution.  I loved the food, the artisanal crafts and the dizzying mazes that formed the souks.  The riads were charming hotels with sparkling clean rooms, amazing tile work and hearty quintessential Moroccan breakfasts.  I could go on and on.  If I had been too scared to travel alone, I would have missed all of it!

So how can you solo travel?  I have a few tips:

  • Pick safe countries.  There are lots of lists that outline safe travel for single women.
  • Do your homework and have a rough plan but get comfortable with wandering, too.
  • Share you itinerary with your family and friends.
  • Don’t do stupid things.  For example, I do not visit bars nor do I explore late at night.
  • Do your research.  There are Facebook groups with likeminded travelers.  The wealth of information shared has been really informative.  Two groups I like (but there are hundreds) are “Traveling Solo over 50” and “Solo in Style”. 
  • Target your search by country. There are many FB groups that focus on specific locales.  Travelers share their itineraries, tips and even meet up if they are in a location at the same time.

So, what are your solo travel suggestions?  And where do you want to go next?

Inclusion: The Foundation

Posted on by Seniye Groff

I am working with a new client on bolstering their inclusion practices with employees and clients. In the most basic form, inclusion is defined as “the act of including” by Merriam Webster. But we all know it is a lot more than that. In fact, all people want to feel included, valued and appreciated…or at least I know for sure that I do! So how do you create an environment where folks feel a sense of belonging, feel heard and feel safe to express their authentic selves?

First, accept that we all have bias. One of the ways to work through our bias is to talk about it. Many DEIB programs hit walls when they focused on blaming and shaming. Blaming and shaming never work, especially when you are asking someone to be open-minded to others that are different from them. Being bold enough to tackle these tough conversations is difficult since you don’t want to be called a racist, you don’t want to be misunderstood, you don’t want to offend someone and you certainly don’t relish is discomfort!

So what can you do to be more inclusive? I like this video on making assumptions and the framework is offers to Pause/Recognize/Question so that you are not misled by your assumptions (bias). Ask yourself, “What assumptions am I making?” and “How do I know these assumptions are true?”

Another tactic is to acknowledge your own preconceived ideas, move beyond generalizations and know the difference between perspective and reality. In other words:

•What messages have I received in my life that may influence my perspectives?

•What identity groups do I have the most exposure to?

•What identity groups do I have the least exposure to?

•How can I check for blind spots?

Other things you can do are expose yourself to new experiences, talk to people with different identities from your own and broaden your worldview. I love it when I talk to someone and I can say, “I never thought of that perspective or view before.” and “Wow, that’s a whole new way of looking at…” I think the American Negotiation Institute’s guiding principle says it best: “The best things in life are on the other side of difficult conversations.”

What have you done to address your blind spots?